39 weeks

So I am officially 39 weeks today and couldn't be more anxious for my son to be here! Everyday I am hoping is the day we get to see him, but this kid is just not ready to come out apparently. Last thursday at our doctors appointment, we  were scheduled to be induced on our due date, the 12th. Its hard to believe that that is only a week from now. After talking inducing details, the doc then checked to see if I was dilated, and a was a womping 1cm! Not only that but my cervix was soft and she said the baby only had about 2 inches left of room there. This was very encouraging, and here I was thinking that meant any day now! I would love love love if he just came out naturally and I didn't have to be induced, but he is a stubborn little bug and is still holding out in there.

Now when you're this far a long, you are willing to pretty much try ANYTHING to make you go into labor. I have heard many different wives tales of how to induce labor naturally, and since I am at home all day and have nothing but time, I have given some of them a try. My doctor suggested lots of walking, sex, and spicy food. I have done the walking and spicy foods but after telling me that my child is about 2 inches away from greeting this world, there is NO WAY that I will be having sex anytime soon. I have done everything from dancing around (making sure I did a lot of hip shaking), squats, eating eggplant parmigiana (I know, I thought that was weird too but apparently it has worked for a lot of people), adding the hot sauce to every meal, and even meditation. One thing that I found did work a little bit is nipple stimulation. I began to feel contractions immediately but it freaked me out so I stopped. I also read that it can be very stressful for the baby and lower is heart rate so I didn't want to risk that one. Also, sitting around at home playing with your nipples is kind of awkward.

Labor pains. I am also at the point where I am taking any little movement, pain, and ache as a labor sign. Who knows if its true or happening but I am dissecting everything around me as a labor sign, just HOPING that its GO TIME. So far nothing has happened though. I'm still her today just sitting on my couch waiting to go into labor. Yesterday was actually a good day, no aches or tiredness that I have felt for the last month or so. I had lots of energy and straightened up a little (which some may consider nesting) but I honestly think that I have been nesting for an entire month now so don't really get my hopes up that its a soon to be labor sign. Walking is still a little uncomfortable, but his head being 2 inches away from the opening would explain that. I have been crampy and achy but still have not had any strong contractions.

Its almost time, but for me its not coming soon enough. In the end he will just come out when he is ready.... well unless we end up having to be induced. I'm guessing little Ellis is going to be a mommas boy. He is just too attached to me :) haha Thats quite alright with me.

That Growing Belly

Was looking through old photos and I can't believe how big I have gotten! Even within this last month I have popped out a lot. Now to think that I thought I was getting so BIG those first couple of months during my pregnancy is ridiculous. I miss being that size!

Maternity Clothes

So I can admit that upon finding out that I was pregnant, there were many fears and concerns, one of the biggest being "WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO WEAR?!" The farther along you get in your pregnancy, when you realize that none of your cute clothes fit you anymore, you begin to realize that it is time to search for maternity clothes. This can be scary for most, especially since there is not a huge selection out there of fashionable maternity clothes. Now this is something that bothers me. Who says just because you're pregnant you have to wear some boring moomoo?! I recently got a job at a very well known maternity store, in fact its probably the "go to" store when it comes to shopping for maternity clothes, but even I can admit that there are very few things that i find match my own "personal style." Of course I make it work and mix and match the maternity pieces with pieces I have from before I was pregnant that I FORCE myself into. This is very frustrating to me. Yes, it is true that when you're pregnant you want to be more modest and comfortable, but that does not mean that you have to look frumpy, boring, and in no way should you have to give up that fashionista in you to hide your bump.

So here is a little list I have made to help women out when it comes to maternity shopping. There are few pregnancy ESSENTIALS that I believe all pregnant women should have in their closets. I have also found some great websites for the fashion forward pregnant lady who wants to rock that baby bump in style.

The first couple months of your pregnancy you should still be able to fit into most of your clothes. As your baby bump grows, there are some things that you will want to get to make you feel comfortable.

1. The belly band: The belly band is an elastic band that you can put over your pre pregnancy pants to hold them up. This is something I loved, I could wear my pants unbuttoned so they would still fit and the belly band went right over it to hold them up. They look like camis underneath your tops and come in white, black, and tan so they can go with pretty much any outfit. Belly bands are perfect for when you're struggling with the pants buttons but aren't quite ready to move onto the full band maternity pants. I am still wearing my band today and I am 8 months preggers.

2. Leggings: Nothing seemed more comfortable to me then a pair of leggings to wear underneath my dress or tunic shirts. This is a must for throughout your entire pregnancy. I find that a lot of women are against the idea, but as soon as they get a pair on they end up living in them for most of their pregnancy.

3. Cami tanks with built in bras: Now your boobs are most likely going to get huge during your pregnancy. At first you will love it, and then you will begin to hate it when you can no longer fit into any of your bras. In fact, my favorite thing to do when I first get home is take off my bra. Cami tanks with built in bras are great because you can wear them underneath your clothes AND GO BRA LESS, something you might want to take advantage of before you begin to nurse.

4. Striped T's: I will be the first to admit that I have a serious stripe addiction. Many pregnant women probably wouldn't think to even go near them but they honestly make the belly bump super cute, and unexpectedly makes you look a lot smaller.

So above are the early term necessities, but once you get farther along you will want to add a good pair of maternity jeans (I preferred an over the belly band for comfort), side rouge T's, a comfy sweat set (valuer is making its comeback), dress pants, and pretty dresses that either have a stretchy band at the waste or a belt to accentuate that belly.


ONLINE SHOPPING! It is very unfortunate that most of the "good" maternity clothes can only be found online, especially since women don't know how much they will be growing during their pregnancy so sizing is always a little weird. I recommend going into a maternity store FIRST and figuring out which size you're by trying on some clothes, pick up the basics while you're there and then get your more stylist pieces online. Most maternity sizes go by your pre pregnancy size, unless you're have twins and would then need to go up a size.

Here are some sites that I found to have ADORABLE maternity clothes, I just wish I found them earlier on in my pregnancy, not much use to me now being a few weeks away from my due date.

Asos Maternity
HATCH
Topshop Maternity
Splendid
GAP maternity
A Pea In the Pod
Shop Bop
Rosie Pope
Isabella Oliver
H&M
Nordstroms Maternity
Dorothy Perkins
American Apparel

Kruger's Farm

There is nothing like a perfect fall day spent at a pumpkin patch. Today Jordan and I headed over to Sauvi's Island to get some fruit for smoothies, but were greeted by a fall wonderland. Children were running around with giant pumpkins in their hands, there were hay rides, roasted corn, caramel apples, and a corn maze. It is days like this that make me truly love living in Oregon, when you look up at the woodsy hills and see nothing but a blanket of colorful trees. When the sky is blue but the air is crisp. Fall is BY FAR my favorite season. It made me warm inside to see all the excited children, made me even more excited to think that next year I will have a little one of my own. Granted he will still be too small to carry a pumpkin, but I was definitely seeing some photo opts.

Kruger's Farm was a great way to end the day, a day that started with back to back drs. appts. I can't believe how close it is to my due date. Today they were discussing having to induce me at 40 weeks, which would be my due date, but they are concerned that my placenta will stop working and that Ellis isn't growing anymore. He is a healthy size though if that were the case, he's just a small baby, which makes sense considering Jordan and I are small people. I also have to have a stress test once a week to moniter the babies heart and my contractions. Everything is looking good, I just have to lay there with a huge belt around my tummy for half an hour. I am feeling so ready for this baby to be here. I am trying to wait patiently just because I want my mother to be here for the delivery. I don't know how long I can wait. I am miserably fat and I just want this baby in my arms already!

35 weeks

My clothes collection is becoming very slim considering NOTHING is really fitting anymore. I can still use the belly band for most of my pants, THANK GOD. Ladies, the belly band is your best friend while you're pregnant, if you're too small for maternity pants but are growing out of your jeans, the belly band goes right over your pants so you can wear them unbuttoned. I swear I am wearing the band even after pregnancy. As for tops, thank God my boyfriend has some pretty good taste in vintage t's that I get to wear.

Mama in the kitchen

I don't know if it is my maternal instincts kicking in, or if its a result of nesting, but I have had the major urge to put my creativity to use in the kitchen. My passion for cooking, that took an absence for a while, is finally back! There are so many things that I want to make, and this fall season is giving me a warm cozy feeling that inspires me to make homey feel-good meals. However, it it's a little disheartening when I don't really have anyone to cook for. My boyfriend is on this "health kick". I love vegetables. I would love to have them every meal but sometimes I just want something hearty and comforting too. Unfortunately just eating vegetables all the time don't satisfy me as much as a cheesy lasagna would.

I have gotten so excited over the meals that I have made. I don't use any recipes but just dig into the pantry and throw together what ever I can find. Last night I thought it would be a perfect night for some home made chili, something that I have never made before. I dug into the pantry and dug out what ever I could find. The chili turned out great, if I may so myself. I even through in a lot of vegetables hoping that it would make Jordan actually want to eat something I made for once. He didn't. I was disappointed. I'm not going to let that kill this for me though. I have been looking up different things to make and I write them down in a journal. I keep on having this fantasy of me cooking meals for my son, my family and I gathered around a dinner table talking about the day we had over a nice comforting meal that I made.

Labor Playlist?

So it has been a busy week for me, between all the doctors appointments, birthing classes, hospital tour, and visit from the president of Gap at work. I haven't had much time to rest. Last night I started to feel some major cramping, but I thought it wasn't bad enough to be contractions, maybe just mild ones. I took them as braxton hicks contractions and just laid on my side and drank glasses of water just like the "pre labor" video says to do. I didn't want to freak out about them because I knew Jordan would freak too and the last thing we needed was two of us freaking out over nothing. I might be working myself a little too hard, not giving myself enough time to rest.  I would love nothing more than to be at home everyday resting, unfortunately there is too much to do. With just a little over month left of pregnancy, I finally put in my two weeks at the Gap. Although I am cutting it close to my due date, I start a new job next week at Motherhood. Motherhood is great though and said they won't over work me and I am free to leave when I feel like I need to. I am going to try to get as much training done as I can so I won't feel out of it when I come back to work with them in January. Its just to perfect of an opportunity to pass up.

We started our birthing classes last Monday, and I have to be honest I was kind of skeptical about taking them. A lot of people were telling me that they weren't really necessary but it was something that our midwife was really encouraging us to do. I opted into taking them only because I am terrified about giving birth... well at least I was. Everyone is telling me not to worry, my body knows what to do and will take over. BUT HOW??! How does my body know what to do? What will my body do? What if it doesn't? These are things I am learning in the class, not to mention its kind of nice to be around other pregnant couples. None of my friends really know what I am going through and its nice to know other people who are going through the same stuff and it was a relief to know that all the other pregnant ladies have the same fears that I do.Two of the couples in our class were also at our hospital tour the next night. I am really excited about our hospital choice even though the hospital is 40 minutes away from our house. That worries me a little. There is a closer hospital but its a high risk hospital and I have heard a lot of negative things about it. For one, I would like to give birth naturally, well at least I am hoping too. No inducing, no pain medication, just pure meditation and relaxation. Letting my body do what is supposed to do. The other hospital, being a high risk hospital, is very "in and out", I feel like they would rush the whole thing. And they have a hire percentage of emergency C-sections.

Sunnyside Hospital is the one for us. They have midwifes on staff around the clock and encourage natural birth. There are jacuzzi tubs in the delivery rooms to help with the contractions. They offer all sorts of things to help you relax during labor. After the baby is born they encourage skin on skin contact for the first hour so you get that time to bond with the baby. That is very important to me, I fear that something will go wrong and that I won't be able to bond with him like I should. They also offer a lot of support with breast feeding, something I also plan on doing during the first our the baby is here. I feel like I will be very comfortable at this hospital, and that will help the labor go along much smoother.

Our birthing class instructor as well as the hospital encouraged us to make a playlist for during labor. A playlist? Really? Now I am a playlist queen and make a playlist for just about everything but I never considered making one for labor. What kind of music do you put on a labor playlist? To be honest I don't think you will really know how you feel or what you want to listen to until you're going through it, but I tried to put one together anyways. I am going for a more "relaxed/zen" feel. At least I think that's how I will want to feel during the whole thing. Although, I did google some "labor playlist" that other mothers had posted and there is definitely a variety. Some went for the "pumped up" kind of music, others went for the whole "birth and motherhood themed" music.

So here is what I have so far, its music that relaxes me. I think I might put together a "pumped up" one too just in case I need the motivation.

WILDWOOD CHRONICLES

Took a trip down to Powells on Burnside and picked myself up a new book, book one of the Wildwood Chronicles. Its a kid friendly illustrated novel filled with fantasy and adventure. The book was written by two Portland locals and takes place in familiar landmarks around Portland. It's full of cute illustrations done by Carson Ellis and written by lead singer of the Decemberists, Colin Meloy. I am excited to get started on this. Maybe someday in the future I can read this book to Ellis! For now, I am going to bundle up in my granny sweater and sit on the dock to read. There is nothing like living on a peaceful river and being able to go outside on a day like this to read a good book. Put a pumpkin spice latte in my hand and HELLO FALL.

So Many Emotions

 

There is a show on TLC about this lady who can communicate with the dead. It's called Long Island Medium, and the lady is a mix between John Edward and Snooki. I only caught the last 5 minutes, but as soon as the show ended I was in tears. She was speaking to this lady who's father had passed away right before her grandson was born. She told the lady that her father was telling her that he got to hold her grandson before he passed into the after world.... AND I LOST IT. 

My grandfather passed away about three months ago when I was five months pregnant. It was honestly the hardest thing that I have ever gone through. Two years ago I moved to Portland and lived with my grandparents. Although school was a huge reason for me wanting to move, the main reason was to be able to be here and help my grandparents out, especially since my grandfathers cancer was getting worst and I couldn't bare the thought of my grams having to face it alone. My gramps had been battling cancer for years now and I never really knew how it effected him until I moved in with them. I knew he had his bad days and there were a lot of nights spent in the hospital with him. He was mostly bed ridden and I we would all do our best to make him feel comfortable. 

Every morning I would walk up to their room and jump on the big giant bed he was on and say good morning. Every time I came home the first thing I would do was jump on that bed and give him a big hug. I was so nervous to tell him that I was pregnant. I wasn't sure how he would feel about it. My sister and I were his babies, and since we moved in with them, I knew it was interesting for him to see how much we were becoming women. I knew I was pregnant for a couple of months before I finally worked up the nerve to tell him. I went into his room, jumped up on the bed next to him like I always did and told him I had some exciting news. As soon as I said the words I could see the worry in his face. After I explained to him how excited Jordan and I were about it, the worry left and was replaced with a huge smile. He was going to be a great grandpa for the first time and couldn't be more excited. The farther into my pregnancy the worst his health got. He would tell me how he hoped that he would at least make it to be able to hold his first great grandchild. That broke me heart. I didn't want to accept the fact that my grandfather wouldn't be here to meet my child. 

My gramps didn't make it, but after watching that show there is now a part of me that believes that he still got to hold his great grandchild. In fact, that lucky guy got to see him before all of us! My son will now be named Ellis, after his great grandfather who loved him so much before even meeting him, and although Ellis will never get to meet his great grandfather that he was named after, he will most definitely know how much of an amazing person he was and how much of an honor it is to be named after someone so amazing and special.